Glasgow

After circumnavigating Scotland in a mere week, exploring many of her remote towns, islands, and glens, it was time to slow down and experience one of her two great cities. Welcome to Glasgow.

While Edinburgh may be considered the brains of the country, Glasgow is the braun—though it’s plenty smart too. And while Edinburgh is a regal old gentleman, Glasgow is like the businessman younger brother, less polished and more practical—at times surprisingly sophisticated, but more often matter-of-fact and occasionally boorish. Consider the accents unique to each city: you could probably understand most Edinburghers (perhaps the only Scots you could understand!); but the working-class Glaswegian brogue is so impenetrable that supposedly even other Scots even have trouble with it! The city began its ascent as major trading center with close ties to the young United States, importing a considerable amount of our cotton, tobacco, and sugar—and growing wealthy from it. In the 1800s, Glasgow transformed into an industrial powerhouse, particularly renowned for its shipbuilding—prior to WWI, shipyards on the River Clyde were cranking out 20% of the ships in the world. So important was Glasgow in the 19th and early 20th century that it became known as the “second city of the British Empire” (after London). After suffering some major setbacks in the mid-20th century, Glasgow is booming again. And with 1.8 million people in its metro area, it’s twice the size of Edinburgh and home to a third of all Scots.

All of which is to say, Glasgow is a busy and happening place…but not necessarily the most picturesque. Yet it does have some elegant bits, particularly the West End, which got built up in the late 19th century. Amy had found us an lovely AirBnB there in a gracious arc of Victorian townhomes, not unlike the ones we’d admired in Bath. With a grand front door, soaring ceilings, and huge windows that looked out over a garden and a beautiful stone church, our apartment must have once been the home to some of the Glasgow elite. Even the street had a posh name: Grosvenor Crescent. Around us were similarly elegant townhomes, some rows with their own private parks, and across the road, the city’s small but graceful botanic gardens. Just east of us, Byres Road, a popular high street full of cafés, shops, and upscale pubs. We were a long walk from the city center, but the West End had everything we needed, and we ended up staying there for most of our five day stay…especially since it rained a lot!

But we weren’t missing out, because a week later, we came back for three more days. Um…why? Logistics. We were coordinating our Scotland itinerary with a lot of other people and events. First, my mom, who joined us the day after we arrived in Glasgow. Second, our friends Lars & Melissa, who met us in Edinburgh for a week between our stays in Glasgow. And third, Amy’s trial schedule, which sadly required her to fly home just before we left Edinburgh. Bouncing between the two cities, which are scarcely an hour apart, seemed to make the most sense.

On our return trip (without Amy), we stayed right in the heart of the city in a modern, minimalist high-rise apartment—a completely different experience. Like many cities, Glasgow’s core is a combination of regal old buildings, sleek office towers, glitzy pedestrian malls, flagship retail stores, public art…and many grungier elements. We were surprised that the downtown riverfront is not a scenic highlight as in so many cities; it feels more like a place you might not want to be alone at night. Meanwhile, the downtown walking tour we did was fairly uninspiring. There was much about it the downtown that we did enjoy, including some fantastic urban art and the fairly impressive cathedral. (Which, like so many places in Scotland, had been used as an Outlander filming location. The tour guide is quite a fan of the series, and was even writing her thesis on it…go figure.) But ultimately, central Glasgow is a somewhat unremarkable place that would be appreciated much more by city lovers than this small town boy. The quiet, tree-lined West End was more my style.

Altogether, we really liked Glasgow, but didn’t love it. And weren’t inspired to take many photos. Edinburgh is much more charming and photogenic. Glasgow is more…eclectic. If you were to plan a Scotland itinerary that omitted Glasgow, I’d say you could do so without regrets. Nonetheless, we did find plenty to see and do there, and I’ve listed our most memorable experiences below. Don’t miss the last one!

Kelvingrove Park and the University of Glasgow: The important bits of Glasgow sit on the north side of the River Clyde. A smaller tributary, the Kelvin, partitions the West End from the center, and it’s surrounded by a lovely park, the Kelvingrove, where we spent a good amount of time promenading about and testing out the playgrounds. Looming over this is the city’s surprisingly gorgeous university, a venerable institution founded way back in 1451—one of the oldest universities in the English-speaking world. Its current West End campus isn’t nearly that ancient, but it looks like it could be. (Except that it’s too straight and not worn enough.) The sprawling neo-Gothic main building is straight out of Harry Potter, with lacey stonework, elegant cloisters, and lots of towers, including one inordinately tall one in the middle. A good portion of this building houses the university’s Hunterian Museum, a diverse exhibition with a preponderance of early medical instruments and anatomical…studies. That’s because it was originally the personal collection of Dr. William Hunter, a wealthy and inquisitive physician who bequeathed it to the university way back in 1783. Medical science being what it was then, there’s some pretty peculiar stuff, and we spent a good hour or two puzzling over it.

The Riverside Museum: Housed in one of the most remarkable buildings I’ve ever seen, the Riverside Museum was erected on the site of some of Glasgow’s once-proud shipyards. From the website:

“Located at the junction of the Rivers Kelvin and Clyde, it houses the city’s fabulous transport and technology collections, which have been gathered over the centuries and which reflect the important part Glasgow has played in the world through its contributions to heavy industries like shipbuilding, train manufacturing and engineering.”

Inside, old tractors, locomotives, tram carriages, buses, automobiles, motorcycles, bicycles, and Victorian baby carriages jostle for space on the floor and walls and even hang from the ceiling. There are no full-size ships inside (there is a proud old three-master outside), but there are some incredibly intricate scale models of Glasgow’s most famous “Clydebuilt” sailing vessels, and some lesser known ones—such as a few stealthy paddlewheels built for the Confederacy to slip through Union blockades during the U.S. Civil War.

Outside, for some unknown reason, carnival rides had been set up, and a few stomach-churning spinny rides with Griffin reminded me what a fearless adrenaline junkie he is. He even went by himself!

The Botanic Garden: Beyond the Kelvingrove, we were surprised to find that industrious Glasgow actually has quite a lot of greenspace, including an elegant botantic garden complete with several large glass-and-steel Victorian greenhouses and a charming tearoom. As it’s free to enter, it’s a popular place for Glaswegians to gather and bask in the sun…when it comes out! Being just across the road, we actually visited several times. Griffin became obsessed with the large section of carniverous plants!

Eating: We ate well in Glasgow. There was no shortage of eclectic vegan eateries, and the omnivorous ones were fantastic as well. Two in particular come to mind:

The day before we left Scotland, my mom insisted on finding some hot meat pies, the sort that the Brits are known for, which she fondly remembered from her years in New Zealand and Australia. (I love them too. I was over the moon when I found a vegan hot pie shop in Sydney eight years ago.) We were recommended to The Ivy, a swanky art-covered dining room with Art Deco influences. We were a bit underdressed, but enjoyed an excellent meal (Griffin still talks about the vegan almond panna cotta) and some good conversation with a well-dressed geriatric Glaswegian couple next to us, who appeared to luncheon there regularly. After all that, my mom didn’t order the meat pie. 🙄

Friday night, my mom watched Griffin so Amy and I could go on a long overdue date. We got dressed up and darted out in the drizzle to a fanstastic West End restaurant, the oddly-named Ubiquitous Chip, recommended by a colorful local we met (see below). The food and cocktails were stunning, as was the decor; it felt a bit like a greenhouse from the Botanic Garden had been turned into a restaurant.

A church-turned-bar: Perhaps more memorable was the unique bar we dashed to afterwards—in the pouring rain, sharing an undersized umbrella. Òran Mór is an elegant old stone church with a tall steeple built in 1862, which today hosts a different sort of congregation. With neon lights on the steeple, you can’t miss it if you’re on Byres Road, and I had been itching to get a drink there all week. It felt so deliciously sacrilegious. I guess Scotland has a surplus of churches these days, and this wasn’t the only one we found repurposed; just down the street another had been reimagined as a theater and performing arts venue. Fitting? Òran Mór (which apparently is Scots Gaelic for “great melody of life”) is a lively place, and it took some effort to find a seat. But the drinks menu was shameful, offering only beer, wine, cider, and straight whisky; no creative, sinfully-titled cocktails here. But we did admire the stately bar, old stone statues, and oil paintings that lined the walls. We were also tickled to discover a room dedicated to John Muir, the famous Scot naturalist who fell in love with the Sierra Nevadas and is responsible for the creation both of Yosemite National Park and the Sierra Club.

The Tenement House: An insight into “life in early 20th-century Glasgow”, this museum is an old working-class row house preserved and restored to how it was a century ago, right down to the gas lighting. I especially appreciated the old scullery (kitchen & washroom), fully stocked with household goods from the day. The website says it best:

“Shorthand typist Miss Agnes Toward lived here from 1911 until 1965, and preserved her furniture and possessions with love and care. She held on to all sorts of things that most people would have thrown away, and this extensive personal archive has become a valuable time capsule for visitors today. The Tenement House also reveals what it meant to be an ‘independent woman’ at that time.“

Besides a lot of Ms. Toward’s personal belongings, there is also a fascinating collection of her handwritten recipes and letters to friends which reveal a lot about the times she lived in.

Buchanan Street, Princes Square & the Willow Tea Rooms: Glasgow’s main pedestrian thoroughfare is a handsome and bustling place, lined with a lot of stately Georgian buildings now repurposed for retail. One of the only really memorable bits is Princes Square shopping center, which humbly bills itself as “Scotland’s Favorite Building”. It is impressive, with a four-story atrium in the center crowned with a Victorian glass-and-steel roof, and sweeping wood-paneled double staircases linking each level. Also on Buchanan Street is one of two beautiful tea rooms in the city showcasing the design aesthetic of native son Charles Rennie Mackintosh, an architect, designer, and artist who was at the forefront of Art Nouveau style. Which I adore, but the Willow Tea Rooms perhaps take it too far!

UNBOSI Marble Awareness Roadshow: Just off Buchanan Street is George Square and the grand City Chambers (town hall). But the square was blocked by a couple of trailers and the sort of temporary fencing used at concerts or construction sites, and we assumed that it was the latter. But then somebody in an official-looking blue t-shirt beckoned us in. Whatever was going on was apparently spearheaded by UNBOSI—the UN Board of Significant Inspiration, a “lesser-known department of the United Nations, established in 1950 to investigate acts of extreme inspiration“. Heard of it? We hadn’t either, but that’s because until now, “only world leaders and select individuals have been aware of its existence.” After sitting us down to watch a short video on the organization, we were briefed on the situation: a fissure had opened up in the middle of George Square, releasing an unusual ether (dubbed MUSE) which was found to excite inspiration in exposed individuals. But the sort of individuals who most needed this sort of inspiration, like world leaders, weren’t there. So UNBOSI was trying to capture the inspiration—in special solid glass spheres, aka marbles—so it could be brought to those in need. Volunteers like us were required. Apparently, to catalyze the marbles and get them to hold onto the MUSE, a multi-step process involving the four alchemical elements—fire, water, wind, and earth—was crucial, for which UNBOSI had concoted a series of machines that were a bit like a Rube Goldberg machine, or a Burning Man marble maze, complete with propane fire jets, water, etc. It was a clever and elaborate, if slightly low-budget exposition that seemed rather like something Fishbon would do (though a bit less raucous and R-rated). Cynically, we figured we’d be asked for money at the end, but there was just a small shop selling marbles (pre-infused with MUSE) for a reasonable price. Who funds this and what was the point? No idea, but it was certainly memorable!

Street Art: Glasgow boasts some of the most stunning street art I’ve ever seen, and the city has embraced it, even commissioning several large-scale works.

Bagpipes! While wandering though one of the downtown parks, we were surprised when a large group of kids gathered with band instruments and started playing…including several bagpipes. And on Buchanan Street, a kid who might have been twelve playing a bagpipe on the sidewalk for money. Only in Scotland. I have no idea whether these kids were any good, because how can you even tell with bagpipes?

Alexander: His full name is much longer, but that’s all we could remember. He said he was pushing 80, and I suppose he looked it, but he had the conversational endurance of a younger man. We met him on the high street by our house our first morning in Glasgow. I don’t remember now where we were going. I don’t remember what he said to me, either, but Glaswegian accents and all, I had to ask him to say it again. Now he knew I was an American (a Yank), and once I mentioned I was a MacGregor, things moved pretty fast. With a very straight face, he cracked a few jokes, some at my expense. Coming from this short, slightly disheveled, grumpy-looking stranger, it took me a second to catch on. But I guess he took a shine to me (more likely Amy), or he just loved an audience, because within minutes, he had corralled us into an adjacent café and purchased coffees for Amy and I and a doughnut for Griffin. And for the next two hours, as he toured us around the neighborhood, he didn’t stop talking. Apart from the coffee, he seemed to be feeding us a steady diet of tall tales, profanity, bad jokes, and insults (mostly aimed at me). Many of them recycled a few times, suggesting they weren’t original. Especially memorable are his repeated stories of flying to Vegas to get hookers and the many suggestions that I had a small cock. Amy was endlessly amused (or just didn’t know what else to do) and just kept laughing, to which he feigned offense, as if whatever he had said was no laughing matter. I mostly kept a straight face. Griffin, I think, missed most of it due either to disinterest and/or Alexander’s thick accent. Or so I hope.

He escorted us to his favorite restaurant and insisted we make a reservation for later that week (which we did). He took us a few other places before leading us to his house, an upscale Victorian townhouse similar to (and very near) our own. But not inside; instead, he unlocked the gate and invited us into the sumptous private park (Athole Gardens) which all the houses overlook and apparently share. He then directed me to follow him to his SUV on the street and get some folding chairs out of the back. He ducked into his house and reappeared a while later with a blanket, snacks, and a cooler full of beer and wine. Apparently we were having a picnic. I thought he might bring down the wife he had mentioned several times, but no. Amy seemed to be his guest of honor, while I seemed to be the hired help…and the butt of an increasing number of jokes. So I went off and played ball with Griffin. After probably 45 minutes of this, I was tired—both of suggestions that MacGregors shag sheep, and of fighting off a cold. I said my goodbyes and walked home to nap.

Amy chose to stay (because she “loves colorful locals”), and she and Griffin spent another hour with him. Their peculiar date ended a visit to a buddy’s antique shop, where Alexander insisted on buying Griffin an old guitar, but then settled on pewter trinket (because we have so much space for that sort of thing). Then he starting getting emotional, babbling something about the younger generation, before finally letting them leave. He claimed he’s blown away by the hospitality in America and simply wanted to reciprocate. Okay. Griff swears he kissed Amy on the lips (she denies it). He gave us his number so we could keep in touch; thankfully, we managed to avoid giving him ours or running into him again. What a strange old man. I suspect only Scotland can make them like that!